Best Friends Forever
October 30, 2012 § 2 Comments
I was married once. My marriage disintegrated because of a combination of misgivings or misfortunes or however one chooses to mischaracterize it. I do accept some responsibility but only so far as it relates to my youth and the fragile psyche with which I entered into that terribly unhealthy relationship. But the philosophy that I ascribe to remains that all experiences have shaped who I am and obviously, if I had not married I would not have my son. But this isn’t about my marriage because, despite the fact that a hardness of my heart persists which has overshadowed all relationships since, it has been over for sixteen years and no sense of nostalgia or bitterness or anger remains. This is about my best friend Kristine, who, we joke, I was awarded custody of in the divorce. Kristine is my sister-in-law. My ex-husband’s sister has been my closest confidant for almost twenty years. The precariousness of her situation is not lost on me and I am amazed at how well she maintains her loyalties without throwing either her brother or me under the bus. She is my support system and I never forget to thank her for that. Everyone loves to be around her because she has a way of making people feel comfortable and good about themselves. While Kristine doesn’t need to be the center of attention she often is and she engages others brilliantly through her generous spirit and larger-than-life personality. It is only when we are alone that I see how vulnerable she can be and how the weight of life can tamp down that bubbly, mesmerizing strength. She is the one person in the world who accepts me unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, and many times I take that for granted. Yesterday she told me that she had a terrible nightmare in which I had taken my own life and she was left to deal with my son. She said the feeling of grief was so palpable and so overwhelming in the dream that, for a second, she thought it was real. She called to make sure I was alright. While I still might be able to function without my best friend, life wouldn’t nearly be as joyful or as fulfilling or as crazy. Kristine is the spark to my fuel and I love her for her willingness to risk getting burned and still stand by my side.
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Your Blog, combined with The Beatles – ‘Across The Universe’, almost moved me to tears. You have inspired me to write about my best friend. Like you he is the only person that totally accepts me. Very good.
John: Thank you for commenting. Highest compliment is that of inspiration. Keep writing. You have some good stuff.