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I’m going to write about politics. I know that I shouldn’t but I cast my vote early today and it was a very difficult decision for me. I have always felt that my political story was written by virtue of the nature of my career choice as a social worker and counselor. Social programs are the way I help my clients. They are the way I pay my mortgage and feed my family. But government fiscal policies leave me feeling just plain icky as I watch the our national debt sky rocket. This is why I refer to myself as a “hand-wringing liberal”. But overall, my investment level in politics has been low. I do not seek out confrontation with hardcore political types because my knowledge of the actual issues and, to be brutally honest, a thorough understanding of my own beliefs, is vague. The fact is my apathy was stronger than my interest. And why should I care because I have a built-in reason for voting the way I do. Seems pretty easy. And that is the problem. I do not do easy. This is a significant election and the easy way doesn’t seem appropriate right now. I do not take the easy way in most everything else that I do so why should I leave this choice up to an expectation of some nebulous concept that dictates how I should vote?

I decided to change that this time around. I did my homework and not just on the talking points. I researched the party platforms, established which issues I truly do care about and discovered which party, and viable candidate, aligns most closely with the way I believe. And still, even with all this information, my little black marker hovered over those ovals for President. The seconds ticked by and I was acutely aware of those in the room noticing my hesitation. Consequently, I was the only person under sixty there and Lady with the Cat Eye Glasses had her face all squinched up waiting for me to vacate the little voting cube. I peeked over the top of the barrier and made eye contact with her. She quickly looked away and thankfully another booth opened and she scurried over to steal it from Guy with Suspenders. Turning my full attention back to the ovals I asked myself one question, am I better off now than I was four years ago? After answering truthfully, without hesitation, I made my choice. I want to say that in that moment my apathy vanished. My research and reading and investigation advanced my understanding and knowledge more than relying on my gut but in the end, I had the right answer all along.