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A friend once told me that if someone likes you, you’ll know but if they don’t, you’ll be confused. I’ve found that to be a pretty accurate statement. Part of me wants to desperately listen to the voice in my head to play it cool and to not chase you but the other part wants to tell you, show you how deep my feelings go. I can feel myself growing attached to you and what happens when you grow attached to someone? The expectations seep in and cloud your judgment, they make it difficult for you to focus and cause you to do feel things you told yourself you wouldn’t feel again.

I want to be with you. I think that’s pretty evident. I want you to pull me in close, nuzzle my neck, wrap me up in your arms, play with my hair while I melt into your embrace and breathe in your scent. I want you to put your arm around my waist, touch the small of my back as we walk out to the dance floor and you pull me into your arms and sway to the music as if we’re the only two people in the room. I want you count the moments until you can see me again.

I’ve always wanted those things. But I want those things with someone who wants them with me too. Being friends is fine; I treasure our friendship, but these feelings I have, they’re not fleeting. This isn’t a crush. Eventually, after enough time has passed and I continue to not get my needs met, the feelings will fade and you’ll notice my pattern of communication shift, my attention change. And then, I’m sure, I will no longer be confused.