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Down and dirty truth: people use me for their own benefit and I’m left to wonder what the fuck happened. It’s been happening most of my life. It’s because I’m a people pleaser. Not because I want people to like me, mostly because I stink at confrontation and just want things to be harmonious. I know that. I own that. Well, fuck that. Life is too short to do shit that I don’t want to do just to make someone else happy. No one else does that for me. No one else has a problem telling me no. No one else has an issue making me feel uncomfortable when they want something from me. 

Please stop making people feel bad for saying no. There are a myriad of reasons why someone says no and…[surprise!]…THEY’RE ALL VALID. Please stop crossing people’s boundaries just to get your needs met. Doing so will only fester anger and resentment. And ultimately, make me not want to entertain any sort of connection with you. I’ve tried to spare feelings by using gentle excuses but those don’t seem to get the point across like a fast and hard “no thank you”. Just no. Don’t call me a bitch because I am protecting my boundaries. That’s your issue, not mine. 

For those that are struggling with saying no, how many events, favors, activities have you agreed to attend, do, participate in that you really didn’t want to and could have been avoided by simply saying no? Get comfortable saying it because it’s going to teach people how not to treat you. And get comfortable hearing it because, yeah, I’m going to be saying it a lot.