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I’ve been having super intense dreams about you. They make me not want to wake up. I feel myself tread lightly in them, walking on eggshells, desperate not to upset you. Unfortunately, I feel the same sense of dismissiveness in the dreams that I get from you in real life. I wish I could shut off my brain. Flip the switch that tells it not to think about you, in real life or dream land. It encircles and suffocates me, like I’m under water and I can’t swim. I gasp for air, but all I take in is more longing, more sadness, more pain. I want nothing from you and yet, I want it all. But you cannot give anything, won’t give anything, don’t want to give…anything. I wring the yearning and desperation out from my body but I can’t seem to keep my brain from absorbing you. Your touch is gone but everything else indelibly remains.