• • •

A single moment. Or a culmination of many. Regardless of how much you hold your breath, waiting, almost craving for the bubble to pop at which point the time will come to say to yourself, I predicted you’d been in an incoherent messy heap on the floor. It’s the wonder and joy of listening to another person nicely parse it all out for you. Something you are desperate to achieve but cannot, holding back because if just one more piece slips out, the entire fragile works comes unhinged and shatters. This time…beyond repair. On the edge of sobs. You, so unlike you. Skating around the emotions because it’s what I do best, or at least, it’s the only thing I can think of to do. And the tedious shrillness of it all grates me this time. Different than the rest. Someone did tell me to make it go away. I’m not sure who to believe.

You are fucking brilliant. I lay here, listening to your mind working, unsure if what I’m hearing is created solely for me or if it’s been tucked away in that dusty file cabinet in the back of your brain labeled “pretty girls”. I know men can get hurt; I’ve hurt a lot of them. I give what I get. And because I’ve gotten so much my giving has been elevated to that level most find themselves alone at for a very long time. It’s certainly doesn’t bother me, although I feel a couch session coming on; forgive me if I’m wrong.

You think you know me. I’m torn between giving you that opportunity or to allow myself to let go and find out. If I don’t know what I’m getting, I don’t know what to give.

So far you’ve achieved the following from my list:
 smile.
 make me laugh.
 use your hands.
 smell great.
 say my name.
dance.
 look into my eyes.
 listen and hear.
don’t think too much.
 give kissing a chance.
 don’t spend all of your time on the “usual” suspects.
 read a book.
be true.
be honest.
 be yourself.

Not bad.

I know the support, for both, was critical. You know I’ll be here for you.

Tagged: love, relationships, things i like about you